The Corner Coffee House blog: Parents at the Coffee Shop

Parents at the Coffee Shop

As parents we are faced daily with different challenges.  Whether it is how to get our little darling to sleep, how to deal with tantruming toddlers or how to help our children get on with their siblings and peers.  ‘Parents at the Coffee Shop’ is an opportunity for Parents to meet together to discuss ideas, find solutions and support each other in these and other challenges.  It is also an opportunity to share creative ideas, find solutions and celebrate all the great things about being a parent. Each week a parent will blog about something they are experiencing with their child/ren and then anyone who is interested can come and discuss the blog and have a chat over coffee and cake at The Corner Coffee House.

This week we hear from one of the Corner Coffee House parents on Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

I love each of my children equally.  They are all different and have different interests and strengths.  But one thing they all seem to like to do, which I don’t love, is to bicker and argue and compete.  They each have their own strengths and when they do work together they make an amazing team, yet a lot of their energy can be taken up with arguing over who gets the first turn at something or who gets a certain colour cup to drink from.

I can get very frustrated when the bickering and whining starts and the inevitable ‘it’s not fair’ at whatever resolve I offer.  I am guilty of wining at my children and bickering with them.  It is like a trigger that gets fired within me and all the frustration pours out in a torrent of whiny shoutyness, which really acts like petrol on a fire and ends in a big ugly mess.  This doesn’t happen all the time, there are times where I can walk away from an argument, buffing my nails on my imaginary lapel, as the children laugh and play together.  Unfortunately the former is more common than the latter.

The frustration comes from a desire for my children to love and prefer each other.  It also comes from the fact that their bickering is interrupting whatever very important job I might be trying to get done.  If I want my children to get on with each other then I need to teach them the skills they need to do this.  Surely more important than getting my jobs done should be helping my children to love and prefer each other.  How do I do this?  I don’t know exactly, but one thing I do know from my experience from parenting so far, is that there are no quick fix answers.